If you respond to that very strong push by trying to pull her toward you with equal force, you may lose her interest forever. Think of it as a “tug of war,” only imagine that it’s one where you must trick your opponent into winning. Did they practically force themselves on you, or did you have to earn them?
If you stop pulling for a while, they will begin pulling you instead. Think of the things you’ve wanted most in your life. Do you want something more when it involves a challenge, or what it is something you can have or do anytime?
What is this behavior that suddenly becomes "inconsistent"? And what do you mean by needing to "keep things interesting"? Just another term for trying to put a square peg in a round hole.
What you're describing is game-playing and that's not how healthy relationships work, IMO. You're trying to keep something rolling that has no wheels. When you meet the right person, you won't even stop and think about such stupid games. I can't believe what some of you do to make dating so difficult.
But like earlier this week I had all the power..now I think he does becuase he's pulling back.
The Push / Pull technique has stood the test of time in being one of the most widely used pieces of practical psychology for people wanting to actively generate attraction in others.
Well, every time I ask her for the next date, she will always say "Oh yeah, it would be great to see you again" but then when I propose a day, it is always " let me look at my calendar, I am not sure or let me check with my girlfriend". Well, every time I ask her for the next date, she will always say "Oh yeah, it would be great to see you again" but then when I propose a day, it is always " let me look at my calendar, I am not sure or let me check with my girlfriend". Wouldn't you rather she check her calendar before agreeing to a date on a certain day than agree to it and then have to cancel or reschedule?
We have been raised to believe that in order to obtain something we have to work for it. You want that $ .75 raise you better double your effort at work. You want a good job you go to school and get good grades. You can't work harder to get what you want; you can't force someone to like you more.
So it's been a week of no contact, which is what my ex wanted.
From psychologists to dating coaches, to pickup artists, to salesman to hackers, it’s a powerful piece of social engineering that is so prevalent across so many different approaches to attraction, that it is hard to ignore.
Of course, we know attraction is created by a series of psychological triggers (and more importantly, by triggering negative associations) however push / pull is often seen in nearly every successful attraction method because it imbues you with a sense of exclusivity and power whilst still keeping the other party interested by hinting at your interest in them.
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