There are some really good reasons to avoid dating a married man BESIDES the glaringly obvious, 100%, completely valid moral argument.When we shame people and use morality as a coverall, the other rationale behind why one should stay far away often get lost.I often get e-mails disputing my advice and opinion.But I got no such mail about my column “Will My Lover Ever Leave His Wife,” where I said it is virtually certain he would not. I thought that if I were a better person then maybe he would leave his wife, and I spent time beating myself up over what I could do to make him leave.One of them being that it can be hard to trust him.He says "I love oral," but that doesn't seem to be translating into any oral sex.
One is that he says he loves to give oral but has only done it twice.
I received no notes saying “I am thrilled to be the other woman, the situation worked out wonderfully, and everyone is so happy about it.” Instead, my responses were from people who learned firsthand the painful lesson that married men do not leave their wives for their mistresses. Let Young Lover know that she's wasting her time and ruining her life. It took me years of therapy to get away from my idiotic mistake.
Because there are doubtless many women still in this situation wondering what to do, I decided to share some of these letters here: From Arizona: A few years ago I was in the same position. He's never going to leave, because he has everything he needs right now — her for sex and emotional attachment, and his wife for security. It also took a lot of observation of other couples to realize how horribly dysfunctional the relationship I thought was perfect really was.
Maybe it's like when he tells his wife he's "going to the grocery store," but never seems to come home with any groceries.
If he really loved oral, he'd be down there like a prospector during the gold rush.